Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
