then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
