Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize