I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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