ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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