Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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