yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
