Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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