Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
