You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
