he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize