I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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