Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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