Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
