i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
