Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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