I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
