it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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