I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
