I can tuck mytits in my pants
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
