i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
