Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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