So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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