Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
