you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
