I cockslap morals
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize