remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
