He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize