The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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