Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
When are your genitals available?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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