I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
