I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
