i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
