Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
