I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
