Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
