I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I pour the whiskey from now on
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
