im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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