oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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