soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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