It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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