how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I have post one night stand depression
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
