I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
