Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
we made out on top of his cat.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
