we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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