You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Semen is not good for contacts.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Randomize
