i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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