I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
