I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
