Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Randomize
