The maid of honor just puked.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
