What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
