Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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