hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
