Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
