Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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