smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
