Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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