I like to think it a success when the cops are called
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
do herpes really smell.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
