Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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