i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
