my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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