He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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