They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
this will be a night to untag.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize
