great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
