doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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