the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize