Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
