i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
