Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
