so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i need to put some appletini on your dick
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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