My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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