The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm like, not good at living.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
