Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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