I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
