Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
