Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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