I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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