Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize